Why it’s Great to be a Guy

-Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.

– Your last name stays put.

– The garage is all yours.

– Wedding plans take care of themselves.

– You don’t have to curl up next to a hairy ass every night.

– Chocolate is just another snack.

– You can be president.

– You can wear a white shirt to a water park.

– You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.

– Car mechanics tell you the truth.

– You don’t give a rat’s ass if someone notices your new haircut.

– The world is your urinal.

– Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

– You never have to drive to another gas station because this one’s just too icky.

– Wrinkles add character.

– You don’t have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.

– Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.

– If you retain water, it’s in a canteen.

– People never glance at your chest when you’re talking to them.

– The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

– New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

– Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: “So, notice anything different?” –  One mood, all the time.